During times of change, there is always uncertainty and unpredictability. We, as humans, don’t like either of those experiences and we often react to change by making big decisions. You have seen it personally and professionally many times. It doesn’t matter if it is a positive experience like being promoted or a negative one like being let go. A tornado of strong emotions comes with change, and it will impact your life.
Studies show that over 90% of our decisions are being influenced by our emotions. Unfortunately, these decisions that we make at a time of uncertainty are not based on the present moment, instead they arise from our anticipation of the unknown.
Our feelings are an important part of our human experience, and they guide us as we move through life in search of happiness. We cannot deny or ignore our feelings otherwise they will manifest in a variety of ways. They can cause a regretful reaction, overwhelm us or cause paralysis.
So how do we process strong feelings?
By allowing yourself to feel how you feel.
Our emotions are energy that needs to be experienced. If we suppress our emotions, they just don’t go away. Our emotions stay inside and at some point, in the future, they will rise out and bite us in the butt. You have heard the quote that emotions are just energy in motion. This means that they need to be expressed.
If you need to throw a fit, have a tantrum and yell and scream. If sadness is coming up, enjoy a snot-filled fit of crying complete with a full box of tissue. If anger is flowing, then grab a pair of boxing gloves and release that anger on a heavy punching bag. Whatever you are feeling, allow the energy to move through you. Hold a safe space for yourself and go apeshit crazy. Let out the emotions in whatever way makes you feel better without adding to the drama and trauma in your life or harming others.
Unfortunately, many people are not even aware of their emotions or worse, many fear their emotions and bury them. So, they manifest in the form of diseases, mental health issues or they take them out on others.
So how do we manage our emotions during times of change?
1- Practice Mindfulness using the AAA Method (Allow, Acknowledge, Accept).
The reality is we can’t control the future, and we can’t control others and their actions. The only thing we can do is learn to manage our reactions, acknowledge our emotions and reach a level of calm and mindfulness. To do that, we must first become aware of the emotion and allow it to surface in a safe and kind space.
Here is how to practice.
- Sit in a comfortable seat, spin tall, shoulders relaxed, with eyes closed or slightly cast down.
- Set a timer for 10 to 15 minutes.
- Be an observer, watching what is happening with you without interfering and/or judging.
- Take a deep breath and let it all out.
- Allow your thoughts, your emotions and your sensations to come up.
- Acknowledge the experience by naming it. Emotions that may come to mind are “anger”, “excitement”, “anxious”, “thinking”. Sensations could be “shoulders tight”, “belly aches”, “sleepy”..
- Accept the experience with a mental note with “I see you”, then let the emotion go. .
- Take a deep breath and repeat the AAA method for the duration of your practice
This practice allows you to bring the emotions, thoughts and sensations out of a deep dark well into the light of kindness and wisdom.
2- Reach out to your people
You are not on an island. Whatever you are experiencing, other people in your community are going through it too. Connect with your friends and loved ones to share how you feel with no shame and no judgment. We are social creatures, and we need our community for comfort, fortitude and support.
Whatever you are going through, please know that it is temporary and change is right around the corner. As they say, the only constant thing in life is change. So remember your inner warrior and Know that you are awesome, and that you make the world a better place.
